Senior Assassin 2019: The First Round

Photo Credit: Tucker Papa

Abigail Lenhard

It’s here once more boys: it’s assassin season. Monday the 22nd marked the commencement of the 2019 senior assassin game. For those unfamiliar, senior assassin is a water-gun based game where one has a target, someone they need to hunt, and is simultaneously being hunted by another participant.

For the 2019 year there are 176 participants, amounting to a final pot of about $1,600 if not split between winners. Per usual, there is an $80 reward for whoever has the most kills at the end of the game. For the first time, a new reward for “first blood” has been introduced. First blood is a $20 reward for the person who has the first kill of each round.

 

MONDAY:

The first kill of the year goes to John Austen who slyly attacked his friend Blake Stephano during a casual senior-skip day hangout on Monday.

Other successful hits for the first day go to Kai Mulligan for his central Wayne water-balloon attack on Nick Sheri, Aj Bloomfield’s assassination of Grace Manganaro, and Becca Toren’s snipe of Aidan Reilly after he got off work. In other news, Zach Taylor was rumored to be spotted not-so-sneakily stalking Mariah Smith. Ben Verbosky made an alleged three attempts to get Marshall Lian, which resulted in Lian being trapped in his car while his sister fought him off with a hose, a feisty back and forth, and a potential gentleman’s duel.

By nightfall many are finding out who they are being stalked by, and even more are starting to plan attacks of their own, but many questions lay ahead. Why is Jack Dooley frantically asking around about synagogues? How come Nicole Lafiandra was carrying a water gun in school, and after school hours? Does anyone know if Zach Taylor knows the rules? And, was that a GoPro on Ben Stuek’s chest when he was hunting down Hiro Nagayumi??? That’s all for the first day, but much more is to come.

 

TUESDAY:

The first person to make an early morning effort was Max Xie, who merked Bailey Hoffman at his house before school Tuesday.

Around the same time, Doug Campbell made moves to attack his target Jenna Young. Campbell’s strategy was a good one: he went over to Jenna’s friend’s house and pretended to shoot her. According to a GoPro video of Campbell’s, (which he has made clear he does NOT want released) he then moved to shoot his real target who was in her car. Jenna, now with commissioner ruled reasonable suspicion, shot campbell in self-defense, rendering Campbell as the first player out who was not shot by his own assassin.

The second day in the competition marks an increase in attempts, but not necessarily success. Assassins who were successful include John Talucci for his shot at Sammy Scannapieco, Bella Coppola’s snipe of Caroline Barnhart, and Olivia Gusdorff who fooled Isabelle Breedveld.

In a turn of events, shockingly, self-defense outs are almost the leading killer in this competition thus far. After Doug started the trend this morning, three more players have been eliminated in this embarrassing way. David Azzarano fought back against assassin Erica Dicarlo, managing to shoot her first. After hiding in a TRASH CAN for a HALF HOUR Sean Mullarky, extremely unfortunately, shot doppelganger Royce Engelhard, leaving time for actual target AJ Engelhard to hit Mullarky himself, preserving his position in the game – for now. The pattern continued as Antonia Moffa defended herself against Amanda Vitt.

One of the first successful assassins has been assassinated; Kai Mulligan, who had had a stunning shot on Monday, was eliminated just 24 hours later by Sienna Masciantonio while getting water ice at Capri. And, as it turns out, not even walking your dog is a safe decision anymore: Sydney Ruffo was attacked by Jakob Kerber while out this evening.

Wawa turned out to be a popular final destination. Domino Gilley utilized a rather mediocre “white person” disguise to hit target Henry Salinas in the parking lot after Salinas got off work. Tess Massaro had a rather different Wawa approach, and got into Molly Crawford’s car while she was in the store. Needless to say, Crawford was not expecting this, and should probably consider locking her car.

 

Wednesday:

Day three has proved that the most dangerous part of a player’s day is in the morning. In the rush to get to school, people are getting sloppy. Just today five players were eliminated before the clock struck 8:00. The first to go was Sophie Gold, after her attempt to shoot Sarah Dellorco went a little haywire. Next to go was Stuart O’Riordan when Sarah Beth Lanzone ran up behind him, some speculating that she attacked his neck. Meredith Webb turned on friend Sophia Royle after a failed attempt the previous night. Mitchell “Bear Grylls” Lohmeier assassinated Leah Frebowitz this morning as well. The last of the morning kills marked John Talucci’s second kill. Despite the kill being in self defense when Alexandra Moyer attacked, this puts him in the lead for most kills.

On a different note, we all heard Mr. Bechtold’s announcement during 7th period. People have been wreckless in their hunts, but it endangers themselves most. Rules say, if you’re caught doing something stupid, you will be eliminated. Being reckless works to no one’s advantage.

Later today, Ben Stueck, sans GoPro, successfully got Hiro Nagayumi. “Friend” Alex Storror revealed Nazim Duran’s location to Tommy Subak, allowing Subak an easy shot at Honeygrow. Following the theme of food, Emily Meyers leured Joey Pevner off campus after school, but Nicole Braccili jumped out of her trunk and shot him. Betrayal turned out to be a common theme today as well. Junior Garrett Stearns was going to drive Sebastian Bryanthowever, picked up assassin Pat Walker first.

First blood winner John Austen was taken out by Mab Rongione, confirming $20 as his only profit from this game. Also, a new player ties in the lead. Domino Gilley stumbled upon new target Catherine Hobbs, (still in his “white person” costume) and marked her down as his second victim.

Only one self defense kill for the day, a distracted Jackson Scott was shot by Thomas Winnick (not by his doppelganger brother though? That seems like a major strategic mistake on Winnick’s part). Otherwise, Alicia Vitale got very acquainted with Brooksey Perrin-hee’s bushes while waiting for her to return from lacrosse practice, and Vitale was ultimately successful. Rounding off the evening, Olivia shea was eliminated by Braeden Meandro nearly in her own house.

Best kill of the day: Andrew Davis. After days of plotting to kill Doug Campbell, Davis was disappointed to see Doug’s elimination, and had to start all over again. To get his new target, Jenna Young, David decided to sit in her trunk for a half hour. Good for you Andrew, your head’s in the game.

 

Thursday:

After a Wednesday morning issue between Ben Chanenson and Sharon Hsu was left unsettled, Chris Rhinehart took matters into his own hands and eliminated Sharon at her own bus stop. Also, after days of ding-dong-ditching and harassing Lena Armstrong, Blake Anderson finally succeeded in getting her out. There was only one other morning assault and this was also probably our best kill of the day. Owen Goodchild arrived at FIVE AM to hide under Melissa Hunn’s porch to eventually get her out, like, two hours later? Some people are proving themselves to be very committed assassins.

During school hours, Olivia Gusdorf’s Jules Pizza run turned sour when assassin  Alistair Douglas showed up to shoot her. Shortly after school, Colton Markowitz made his debut to the game, assassinating Maddi Hannum, but his run did not end there. In what I am assuming is a post-tennis Capri run a fearful Max Xie waited in his car as his teammate Colton went to deliver his water ice to him; little did Xie know, he was Colton’s new target. This second kill puts Colton into the expanding pool of players with more than one kill.

Other players joining that group include Sarah Dellorco after her kill of Henry Collins, and David Azzarano after defending himself against Henry Cooke who was reportedly just in his front yard. To finish this Thursday night, Audrey Rosenblum sniped Taylor O’shea in central Wayne.

 

Heading into the weekend, I definitely have some thoughts. 40 people have been eliminated, leaving 136. The round ends May 5th, so while it’s a good choice to lay low, you have to start planning for success. The main takeaways from the debut four days of class of 2019’s senior assassin have to be:

  1. Be most wary in the morning
  2. Almost half of the attempts have ended with the assassin out, so protect yourself when in the field
  3. Those who are frequent characters on the instagram page are publicizing themselves; stay low and remain discreet for success
  4. And just, please, don’t be stupid enough to have the cops called on you

Have fun this weekend, stay safe, and happy hunting,

– Abby