Frantic Trump Tries to Fit in as Much Treason as Possible Before His Term Ends  

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Akshay Sethi , Radish Staff Writer

The White House has seen a whirlwind of activity since the election as former president Donald Trump was driven to commit as much treason as he could before Biden’s inauguration

“We unquestionably started ramping up the treason as we neared January 20th,” said Trump’s Chief of Staff Mark Meadows. “Election tampering, of course, we got into that in a large way. It’s evidently where we put most of our effort. But we also released  war criminals and looked into marketing off as much of the nation’s infrastructure as we could.  Tried appointing Vladimir Putin to the Supreme Court. Nothing was off the table.” 

While over the course of his presidency Trump engaged in a myriad of unequivocally corrupt activities, his focus shifted since losing the recent presidential election to explicit crimes against the state.

It is the ultimate fantasy, destroying your workplace after you’ve been fired. Of course, when you are the president of the United States, that fantasy in practice is less about telling your boss off and more about sociopathically plunging the United States into political and institutional  chaos from which it may never recover.

Republican politicians have lamented the fact that Trump seemed hellbent on leaving the United States in ashes and are wondering where this energy was when destroying the fabric of society might have helped them in the last election.  

In related news, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump were recently seen asking where people with access to nuclear weapons might unload them for cash in a hurry.