Please stand and recite the College Board Pledge of Allegiance™. I will recite it to you as you speak it aloud. While unnecessary, this is a reminder that you must remove your hats and capacity for individual thought.
Family and staff of Radnor High School,
I’m no meteorologist, but I do have the full authority, green light clearance, uncontested autocratic power to do whatever the parents tell me to do. Therefore, due to the inclement weather (persistent five-minute flurries alternating with dastardly dustings), school will be cancelled for the rest of the week. On a side note, RHS Fourth of July fireworks will be held during 5th period A lunch for students wishing to attend. Have a blast in the snow!
Breakings news has revealed that the Radnor High School cafeteria has recently received a generous donation from none other than the muffin man.
The Friday Funny
Millennials are the worst generation in history! We’ve ruined everything from the 9 to 5 work week to diamonds.
The date October 1st will go down in history. This past Sunday high school senior John Christianson broke the previous record of college letters collected, a total of 4,310 over three years.
If you get caught playing, I mean, wisely utilizing, a fidget spinner during a daunting test, no worries. Simply pull out the complimentary doctor’s note from the box it came in and explain that it is strictly for medical, relaxation purposes.
I sat in the library, my eyes closed and my head rested on the table. Today, I was approached by dozens of students and mentioned by many more. Even some teachers dropped in on a nearby conversation more than once. Although I knew they were being superficial yet well-meaning, I couldn’t help but to doubt myself. Maybe I should’ve waited a little longer before deciding. Maybe I –