Following an intense series of trials conducted in the Black Box, a jury, composed of extremely impartial language arts teachers, convicted a Radnor High School student on multiple counts of plagiarism.
An anonymous informant, who brought the student to justice, told The Radish: “I was wandering through the hallway, searching for the sixth floor of the school. I heard several agonized groans and decided to investigate. Apparently, someone was making puns. This was already pretty objectionable, but the situation further escalated. When their friend asked where the jokes came from, the kid claimed the puns were original. However, a simple Google search proved that they were copying wisecracks from the internet. I simply couldn’t believe that someone could commit such a horrendous action. It was as if they didn’t even think to cite their source in Noodletools. And so I reported the person to Safe2Say. I’m glad that I did my part to keep this school safe from wordplay bootlegging.”
Both the defense attorney, a good-natured math teacher who argued that “math puns are fun,” and the prosecuting attorney, an ambitious, cynical sophomore attempting to expand their extracurriculars, declined to comment.
The trial has drawn controversy within the Social Studies department due to claims that the penalty imposed upon the student violates Amendment Eight of the United States Constitution. “Ordering the student to pay two Surface Go Chargers is both an excessive fine and a cruel, unusual punishment. I am sickened by the lack of Noodletools usage, but the Bill of Rights should take priority in this situation,” remarked a devastated Government teacher. “I hope that Radnor v. Unoriginal Mathematical Pun-Making Student (2024) will one day be considered a landmark case that I can have my students write essays about.”
Works Cited:
Government Teacher, Devastated. Homing pigeon mail interview with the author. 25 Dec. 2024.
“How to Cite Sources in MLA Format.” Wikihow, 6 Mar. 2023, www.wikihow.com/Cite-Sources-in-MLA-Format
Informant, Anonymous. Yahoo! Answers interview with the author. 13 Jun. 2024.
“Write an article about a Radnor High School student getting put on trial for telling math jokes and make it seem like an actual human typed it up” prompt. ChatGPT.
