Grubbin’ with the Boys: Wrestling Edition

Noah Conen

As I capped off my 2-5 season for the best wrestling team on this side of the Mississippi, I began to wonder two things. One, dang, maybe if I wasn’t fat, stupid, out of shape, and bad at wrestling like I had been at the beginning of the season, I might have actually been half decent. Two, I can thank the seniors for my transformation into a competent wrestler. The seniors on the team were amazing, and I wanted to repay them for turning me from a scrub to a wrestler. Then, I remembered that I write the best  and most popular series in the Radnorite. I decided to do a special seniors edition of Grubbin’ with the Boys at the one and only Goats Beard, in Wayne PA. Yes, I know that you sophomores and juniors are wondering, “when will I get my chance?”, but, like some ancient prophecy, your time will come. I also had Radnor’s very own Mr. Schellenger and Mr. Torresani come along, since you can’t have a Wrestling article without the wrestling coaches.

 

Reviewers:

Noah “Conedawg” Conen

Noah “Tree” Treangen

Jack ”Can” Connolly

Matthew “T Diddley Bop” Torresani

Justin “Schelly” Schellenger

 

Restaurant: The Goat’s Beard: http://www.thegoatsbeardwayne.com

 

TGB Nuggets: $9

Free range chicken nuggets, fried and tossed in Sriracha, topped with lime and blue cheese crumbles

For everyone that knows me really well, it is widely known that I love to eat almost everything– the one food I cannot stand is blue cheese. I think it is disgusting and a waste of a fine cheese. So, I don’t know if it was an ingredient shortage, a cow famine, or Torresani repeatedly saying we were grubbin’ with the boys to our waitress that caused there to be very little blue cheese on the Nuggets, but thank god for whatever it was. (Yes T, you aren’t supposed to tell the restaurant you are reviewing that you are blogging about it. You did that TWICE in the first 10 minutes!) Anyhow, these things don’t need blue cheese. The flavor of the Sriracha is powerful, just like my two leg takedown, and it actually sticks to the nuggets better than most buffalo sauces. I suspect some honey was mixed in as well since there was a small sense of sweetness to them. The nuggets were very crispy, freshly breaded in house, according to our waitress Patrice. (Who ironically was also nicknamed Tree, perhaps that was fate for Mr. Treangen?) T and Schelly both compared them to Chick Fil-A nuggets, with Schelly calling them moist and succulent, and a nice balance with the sour blue cheese. But T must have gotten brands confused because he said he could have eaten a bucket of them, a trademark to KFC. Overall you should get these. They are a very good start to any meal.

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Steak Taco: $12

Off the menu now, these tacos come with lime and a crema in a soft flour tortilla

The Goats Beard switches their menu every so often to keep things fresh and new. So by the time you are reading this article, these are going to be gone, and what a shame. Tacos are one of my favorite foods, and these were some pretty solid tacos. While small (they are an appetizer), they pack a lot of flavor into every bite. The steak was nicely cooked and very tender,Tree pointed out that the spicy rub was a nice touch. They were also citrusy with a strong hint of lime and cilantro, all to balance out the spiciness and richness of the steak. Very solid starter for a few people, but ultimately when shared between two seniors, one freshmen and two wrestling coaches, they become slightly unfulfilling.

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Carlos Fries: $7

Fries Tossed with a sweet chili sauce and drizzled with sour cream

The Goat’s Beard makes some great fries, and even the self proclaimed fry traditionalist Matthew Torresani loved them. I mean, we all did, but T pretty much summed it up better than I could…

“I love fries, and I am 100% a fry traditionalist. A good fry should have the skins on the ends, cut a quarter inch thick, fried to a beautiful golden brown so that the outside has a slight crunch and the inside has voluminous soft potato. Salt and a little pepper served with classic Heinz ketchup. These were pretty good. A rustic, hand cut fry, skins on the end, well salted. They were doused in sweet chili sauce which was pretty good. The presentation of the sour cream lazily drizzled on top was not a very appetizing look. Would I order them again? Probably not, but would I order regular fries and crush them with ketchup? Absolutely.”

Okay I’ll stop only talking about T, but still, give the man some credit for writing this section for me. Schelly enjoyed the sweet chili sauce atop the Carlos fries and controversially liked the sour cream atop similar to me, something Can and Tree didn’t really enjoy. This being said, I thought the fry seasoning was great and the fries did maintain some crispiness under the sauce, but they did become rather soggy towards the bottom.

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TGB Burger: $17

House ground burger blend topped with cheddar, bacon and caramelized onions, served with fries and secret sauce on the side

I’m going to be honest, Teresa’s has a really good burger, but I forgot about the Goat’s Beard while writing that article. The folks at TGB make an excellent burger. It is cooked right every time. I almost freaked out when T, Tree and Can tried to order it medium and Schelly and I defended medium rare like brave knights defending a castle. It has a very great flavor to the beef, it is obviously grass fed, locally sourced cattle they later grind into the patties. The toppings, bacon, cheddar, and caramelized onions are great. The sweet onions and salty bacon marry together with melty cheddar. The seasoning on the patty is a very nice addition to the juicy sandwich, and the brioche bun is quite literally a great way to top it all off. The fact that it comes with delicious fries and a secret sauce to dip them in is just a great deal on a delicious burger. T, showing his age, said it’s worth its coin.

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Duck Stir Fry: $28

Alina Duck Breast over cauliflower fried rice with charred scallions, kimchi, sesame, cherries and sweet and sour sauce

Only in this series would a group of wrestlers be dining on duck, but alas, we went for it. I’m going to be honest, the duck was a bit gamey despite being cooked very well. It’s a good thing they serve it with cherries to balance that gamey taste, and some delicious kimchi fried rice. Everyone forgot it was cauliflower because they did a very nice job making it taste like actual fried rice with multiple Asian influences and flavors. Connolly and Treangen agreed that the duck was gamey, but loved the rice and called it “the bomb.” T and Schelly both didn’t really like the attempt at Asian food in a American restaurant as it seemed like maybe it was out of the chef’s comfort zone, but it was executed well nonetheless. Jack agreed that  random dishes like these made it seem as if the restaurant was struggling to find its identity.

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Steak Mac and Cheese: $24

Grass fed sirloin served atop potato gnocchi mac and cheese with asiago, parmesan, and cheddar

In my long 15 years as a human being, I have never seen a mac and cheese with potato gnocchi as the Mac, but boy do I want to see it again. Imagine Kraft mac, but fancy, with a great cheese sauce, perfect medium rare steak slices and clouds instead of noodles. Yes it was very good (so nothing like Kraft) Schelly loved the juicy sirloin medallions (yes he actually said that in his notes) and the very unique cheese sauce. It was very nutty, but not with the hardness accompanied by a cheese of that note, instead, it was velvety and creamy. This was a delicious dish, and Schelly was right, it is hard to screw up the classic meat and cheese combo, but to turn it into a hearty and delicious comfort dish is a remarkable feat.

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Fried Brownie: $9

Flash fried brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and a vanilla anglaise

I mean, some things just aren’t meant to be fried; like butter or whatever that one stand at the carnival is doing that just makes you go, “What is the point?” But my friends, you can get this outrageously delicious dessert at the Goat’s Beard without driving to the state fair. It is decadent, and delectable. The brownie melts like butter in a deep fried, buttery crust that is a delicious shield for the gooey chocolate. Then topped with ice cream. The end result is so good that we forgot to take a photo, so I snagged this one of the internet. It was so good, that Schelly’s only words about it were…

“I mean come on. It’s a fried brownie with ice cream, 10/10 score”

T declared that he wished he didn’t have to share it and declared it to be a must eat thing on the Goat’s Beard menu. Order this when you go here, but don’t be surprised if somebody starts hogging it and it’s all gone.

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Overall, the Goat’s Beard is a great hangout spot with very good food. I’d recommend sticking with the classic American dishes, and steering away from others which might be out of the comfort zone of this establishment. Thank you seniors and Go RAWR!

 

For the month of April, Grubbin with the Boys will determine the best hoagie in the area.