The 2021 school year has certainly been unlike any other at Radnor. Between the virtual school start, a new mascot, and the unstable PSATS, Radnor students have certainly been thrown for a loop. But by far the most notable change that has disrupted normalcy: a dramatic increase in cheating. The rise in cheating comes as a shock for two reasons. Number one: what happened to the honor council club? Did they lose their purpose when the district canceled midterms and finals? Number two: people have cheated carelessly, both embarrassing themselves and their teachers. A recent Chemistry test, which an estimated 90% of sophomores bombed due to plagiarism with unreliable sources, was a cry for help (and not Chemistry help). Thus, to avoid further shame, prepare to wow your teachers with these DIY cheating hacks for Zoom tests. (Warning: these DIYs only work for virtual students and stupid in-person students).

DIY: Googling the Answers on a Side Tab

  The title of this technique may appear misleading but fear not, this DIY only requires three simple steps. This hack can be used on both open-ended and multiple-choice questions. 

When stuck on an open-ended question, the first step is to open up a Google tab, type in the given question, and press search. An array of answers from websites will pop up, but do not be distracted. The first excerpt from an article (preferably Wikipedia) is the best source to copy from. Many students follow this process and then make the mistake of combining their newfound answer with some filler words and submitting that product as their response. This format has a 2% success rate, as teachers often notice plagiarism and shame the student for putting effort into an obvious lie. To prevent such disappointment, it is best to copy the answer straight from Google and paste it into the open response, which are steps two and three of this technique. By taking a straight-forward approach to cheating, teachers will beam at their student’s efficient and speedy response, containing mostly correct work. 

Nonetheless, this basic routine can get boring and predictable over time. To spice up this DIY, students can take two additional steps: changing the font and adding some classic Microsoft emojis. Teachers get tired of reading the same answers in the same Arial size 11 font, and they greatly appreciate the change in scenery when students copy and paste the answer in a different font. If the article of choice uses a boring font such as Times New Roman, be bold and try Comic Sans, Merriweather, or even Powerpoint’s Wingdings. Perhaps crank the font size up to 100 to make your work really stand out. Because most tests are taken on the Surface Gos, another great way to make your open responses pop is to add a few emojis. Not only will you receive bonus points for visual representation, but you get to finally put those neglected Apple rip-offs to use.

DIY: Phoning a Friend

Perhaps copying the question into another tab is too much work, or maybe you’re more of an auditory learner. Luckily, the Facetime method is just as effective, and a quicker, one-step solution to get the correct answer. To complete this hack, you must call a friend and ask them to read the answers from a study guide, or Google them. Though simple, this DIY is an A+ in reliability because, as stated on that banner in your English classroom, “teamwork makes the dreamwork.” Beware: this DIY is only effective if you are muted and have amoral friends.

DIY: Open Note Test

Say the test is in a lockdown browser, or you prefer the classic cheating methods. Maybe your teacher is suspicious of cheating due to failed attempts at the prior DIYs. This open note hack requires more work than Googling the answers, but remember: A is for effort. Step one: place your notes, whether it be a study guide, notecards, or even neon post-it notes if you’re feeling artsy, next to your computer. Placement is critical in this DIY: many teachers watch for students who are looking suspicious during Zoom tests. Glancing somewhere other than your work will draw the teacher’s attention and they will quickly grade your test to make sure you were not cheating. Thus, not only does the Open Note hack provide quick answers, but a speedy individual grading process as well. (Bonus: this technique offers flexibility for creative thinkers.)

DIY: Last Minute Excuses

Sometimes planning cheating strategies is too stressful or time-consuming. As a last resort, these excuses are sure to buy you some extra time to prepare.

1. “My Surface Go spontaneously caught fire”
2. “It’s my birthday today” (Self-explanatory. Who gives tests on your birthday? That’s just cruelty. This excuse is redeemable three to four times a year.)
3. “I’m not wearing my favorite test-day shirt”
4. Logout of Schoology. If you can’t see the test, who’s to say it even exists?
5. Get up mid-test, turn your light off, and tell the teacher you’ve suddenly lost power.
6. Leave the Zoom mid-test. What is the teacher going to do? Chase you down? Make you come back to class?

In the age of upcoming technology and futuristic thinking, the most embarrassing mistake students can make is to get caught cheating. After all, school is designed to force students to think outside of the box, and what good is this skill if students are unable to apply it to their own education? These DIYs were not created to shame those who lack cheating skills, but to celebrate individuals who cheat and give them a further edge over their competition. Because if you’re going to cheat in 2021, you should at least be smart about it, and remember, hard work pays off.

Disclaimer: The Radish does not recommend nor encourage cheating.