RADNOR PA– In the wake of COVID home offices, sitting desks have been deemed an ineffective mode of productivity, and thrown out of many businesses and schools: Radnor included. Last week, the RHS administration replaced the international cafe tables with several standing desks. The students who first witnessed this renovation were shocked to find that the very thing that made the international cafe, a cafe, was missing. “First the mirrors, now the tables, and it won’t stop here. I overheard talk about removing the floor tiles too,” reported one sophomore. A senior added: “We were expecting this to happen but I thought it would be after I graduated.” A group of cafeteria mosh-pit-haters said, “They took away the only reason we come to school.” A crying freshman asked, “First the mirrors, now the desks, what’s next?” To avoid future uncertainty, the Radish has formulated a list of possible answers to this very question: loosen your attachment to the following school staples, they are likely to disappear within the year. 

1. The phone and Surface Go chargers in the library 
2. The entire tech office
3. The bagel toasters 
4. The brand-new fitness center
5. Parmesan cheese for Alfredo Pasta Fridays
6. The singular bar of school wifi that functions 
7. The Garden Salsa Sun Chips in the vending machines– nothing goes better with standing desks than celery 
8. Integrated classes 
9. The high-speed hallway printers  
10. The headphones that are available at the front desk for when your math teacher leaves a video lesson– gone are the sick accessories and the fear that the headphones aren’t plugged in all the way 
11. The free therapy dogs 
12. All classroom desks