Without LM Week, Instagram Likes of Female Students at Radnor High School Plummet

This is satire.

Image Credits: Pond5

Image Credits: Pond5

Ellie Davis, Associate Editor

Disaster has struck. Without LM week, girls at Radnor High School have lost what matters most to them: the opportunity to take pictures for Instagram. 

During LM week last year, girls at Radnor High School averaged 672.59 likes per account. This year, that number has dropped to a measly 201.43. The girls at Radnor High School have worked hard over the years to improve their respective like-to-post-ratios (LTPR). This means having your outfit ready weeks in advance, getting to school early, and, if necessary, skipping class to take photos.  

As a school community, they have figured out the best lighting in school — either in the cafeteria hallway with the large windows or in the courtyard at precisely 12:01 p.m. During this time, everyone swarms to the prime locations. If you chose to waste this time by eating lunch or having a conversation with your friends, you’re clearly an amateur. Plus, if you chose to eat more than 200 calories before taking pictures, you’ll look bloated — an automatic 10% decrease in LTPR. In addition to lighting, they have figured out the best angles, the best times of the day to post, and of course, the best poses. There’s the classic smiling duo with hands-on-hips and the quirky and chaotic group selfie, but the whole week culminates with Photo-op Friday. 

On this day, all the girls have the opportunity to spice up their photos with face paint and glitter. You could do the generic six dots, but be careful, anyone with basic facepaint is guaranteed a 20% decrease in their LTPR. Instead, spice it up, maybe add a seventh dot and some glitter if you want to take a risk. This way, your close-up face picture in a collage with 20 other girls will stand out, and you will average 2.4 more likes and 1.87 new followers. 

In an interview, a senior boy added how “during LM Week it’s hard to walk through the hallway without getting in the way of someone’s picture. It’s like a zoo. I might join in on about five photos total for the week, but other than that I take advantage of the opportunity to skip class and blast music in the cafeteria.”  

Obviously, a lot of time and effort goes into securing Instagram likes, but this year, we were robbed of this opportunity. One senior at Radnor high school, an 18-year-old woman, shared how the loss of Instagram likes has been emotionally harmful. “I have a reputation to maintain, and my Instagram posting schedule relies on LM week. It offers three posting opportunities at the most, not to mention all of the pictures I get for later birthday shoutouts for my friends. How are people going to know that I am even friends with someone if I don’t post for their birthday with recent pics from last LM week?!”

To compensate for the LPO (lost posting opportunity), this student shared how she spends hours a day taking selfies in her bedroom. “I need to compensate for these LPOs somehow. I’ve already posted two selfies in a row, what am I supposed to do now?”

This student turned to the best source of information for how to keep up Instagram appearances during the pandemic: today’s top teen influencers.  From studying accounts of  Emma Chamberlain, Madison Beer, and others, she’s decided that ignoring all quarantine orders and continuing to hang out with her friends to take pictures is the only way to keep up her LTPR. 

When asked whether she felt a weaker bond with her school community this year without LM Week, she responded by saying “Of course! Taking pictures every day for a week is a classic and essential experience for all girls at Radnor high school. It breaks my heart that this meaningful experience was taken from us.”