Lunch to Learn ratio is extremely unbalanced: RHS Students on the Brink of Starvation

Lunch to Learn ratio is extremely unbalanced: RHS Students on the Brink of Starvation

Parnia Nasrullah

When the administration introduced Lunch and Learn, students were ecstatic; for one hour on stuffy block days, we could do whatever we wanted, given we didn’t need help from the math department. We could throw lunch parties in the Band hallway, rave in the Chick Fil A line, or catch up on sleep on the wrestling mats. However, that was not the case; a poll conducted at Radnor has reported that nearly 80% of the student body and the math department no longer eat Lunch due to the soul-crushing amount of work Learning requires. One student reports, “I am  running from place to place trying to get from one meeting with a teacher to another meeting with a club whilst being on a zoom meeting running from Alaska.”

Sources say that these students and teachers, especially math teachers, are on the brink of starvation and “miss the days when lunch was a numerical thing.” The statistics of starved students have broken records and reports indicate that the numbers are bigger than midterm week and finals week combined. A sophomore at RHS says “I thought Lunch and Learn would entail more Lunching and less Learning but that was not the case.” Another starved student adds: “I don’t remember what the cafeteria pizza tastes like. I took the cafeteria food for granted and would do anything to eat the rock-hard pizza to avoid that afternoon’s subpar meatloaf.” 

Some students do, however, enjoy Lunch and Learn. These include the students who want to go to Harvard and those who add “lack of needs” to their resume. In our exclusive interview with an aspiring Harvard student, they said, “Lunch and Learn has trained me to live without the luxury of half an hour midday meals. I have learned how to ration my energy, ignoring hunger pangs to focus on making up Physics C quizzes.” One overachieving student commented on their immense productivity by Learning, “Lunch and Learn is the only way I can research a cure for cancer, initiate world peace, and, of course, solve the hallway mirror problem at RHS, all while chugging down apple sauce on my way to math class.” Some anomalies have taken it upon themselves to use this opportunity to add a sixth bullet point to their five-bullet point job resume. A future Jeff Bezos in the making and current RHS students explained that, in the business world, no one promotes needy employees who want half an hour lunch breaks.

After spending several minutes on this dire issue, the Radnor administration suggested that the elimination of one core class could solve hunger at RHS. In addition, they extended homerooms for bagel drives, citing breakfast as the most important meal of the day.