In a groundbreaking new development, sources across the school have confirmed that today’s morning announcements were actually good. “We normally don’t even pay attention to them,” told an anonymous...
A startling new Gallup poll released this past Saturday claims that 97% of students at Lower Merion High school are unaware of the fact that their school has a football team. A follow up piece by al-Jazeera...
Patrick’s Court
Lights! Camera! Action! Give it up for your favorite raider, the bees knees, homecoming court nominee, and future homecoming king, Patrick Kaper.
Hi, how’s it going folks? You are...
-To be read with reverence-
Greetings returning customers. Congratulations! If your carcass is parked in a durable plastic chair, you have successfully signed your life away for 3 hours and 15 minutes...
A violent gust of wind bellows against the frigid walls of Radnor High School as snow heaps against its walls. Just two hours prior, the last of the yellow school bus procession had crawled off campus...
Ever been craving a muffin? Even been waiting in the muffin line for entire lunch period, praying, only to find that they are all sold out? I know you have, don’t lie. You’re mouth is probably...
Graham Harrington
The verdict’s out people. Millennials are the worst generation in history! We’ve ruined everything from the 9 to 5 work week to diamonds. One concerned citizen we interviewed said...
John Felon
To the onlooker it seems like any other Thursday. Maybe a little more commotion than usual. You go through the day, putting on a facade of normality. You nod cordially at passersby, but the...
Neal Chan
The date October 1st will go down in history. This past Sunday high school senior John Christianson broke the previous record of college letters collected, a total of 4,310 over three years....
Gone are the fads of the early 2000s. The silly bandz wrapping around arms like boas twisting around a branch and the pet rocks rattling in their cages – they never served much purpose beyond cutting...
Sang-Hee Park
I, like many other seniors, was preoccupied in the beginning of the year. Study the correct techniques, conjure a presentable look, learn to emphasize positive attributes about myself. I...
